The Simpsons "Totally Twisted" Game

Well I was at some awful family get together with aunts, cousins and all those other people you dont really like hearing from untill they give you five quid at christmas. Well, not being particulrly old nor wanting to sit in the conservatory drinking wine, I was assigned with the duty of looking after the kids. There were four of us, including myself so it wasnt too bad. They pottered around whilst I sat in the corner and drank far more coke than any human body should ever consume.

After a while one of the little darlings (sarcasm) rooted through an old wardrobe and pulled out a large box. It turned out to be a game called "Totally Twisted" from the Simpsons franchise. It is based around twister but there is no mat, you mark out a 1.5 by 1.5 meter square yourself. Instead of a spinner there are two flat sided balls. (forgotten the technial name) Each side has a diferent body part on it. The idea is to roll the first one to see which of your bodyparts you need, and the second one tells you what part of any player's body you need to touch with it. So you might roll "hand" and then "knee" which would mean you have to put your hand on someone's knee. This continues and obviously becomes more harder untill people start to fall over. Last person standing wins.

They ask if they can play it and I say fine but dont break anything. Unfortunatly, they demanded that I play, and cried when I refused. Several times. I eventually caved in however and we started. With my height in comparison to their's I was easily winning. This continued for some time untill I got a pretty cool roll. You can probably guess what it was. The game demanded that I put my foot on someone elses nose. Oh dear. Oh yes. I looked around and saw some poor kid behind me who had his back to the floor due to having to put his head on someone elses hand which was still on the floor. You really could not have asked for a better set up could you? Using the floor for leverage I prised off my right shoe. I was wearing quite fat black skater shoes at the time, and black socks underneath. It wasnt nessisary to remove my shoe but of course, I did anyway. I took a moment to look at my foot, the sock was old and worn out, the sole was very thin in some places such as the heel and ball and half transparent as Id been waring them for three days now. After all, I wasnt really expecting anytghing like this to happen, was I? The poor kid had quite an unhappy look on his face as he saw what was coming his way, which was a pleasant change from the smug one he had a few minutes ago. The immediatearea was filled with a VERY nasty smell the moment the shoe dropped from my foot and the other two kind had a good laugh at the unfortunate boy as he watched in horror. These shoes always give my feet a strong vinigary smell mixed with general foot sweat. I flexed my hot toes inside the damp sock, looked at the kid and shrugged mockingly and swung my leg about a foot over to him and let my foot drop and held it firm. I was at a diagonal angle to him and my rancid foot fitted perfectly across his face.

He made a loud but indescribable noise of utter disgust and collapsed from his position just a few seconds after and started to cough violently. He was also out of the game. He wasnt going to get off that easily though and I followed him down, replacing my foot and pressing so he couldnt remove it. When the other two asked what I was doing I told them it was punishment for loosing and they just laughed even harder and continued playing. He grabbed at my ankle, desperatly trying to lift my foot off. I almost felt sorry for him, it absolutly reeked from where I was, and his small face was completely engulfed by it. He "MMMMMFFF!"'ed very loudly and tried to shout out to someone. He made real funny sounds as he caughed into the damp material too, then snorting as he breathed in again. Eventually his flailing and protesting subsided and he lay still, breathing heavily as he was quite puffed out. We finished the game about 45 minutes later and the two others took it back again. While I was alone I turned to look back, removed my foot and crouched next to him. His eyes were bright red and they had evidently watered a lot too due to the stains running down either side of his head. I gave him a gentle slap and asked it he was ok, he sprang into action and threatened to tell his mother and all the other stuff angry kids tell you when they want to scare you. Before he had finished I whipped off my sock and stuffed it deep into his mouth while simultaniously taring off the other shoe and cramming it onto his face and pushed him to the floor. After holding him for several minutes he was again calm, pehaps a bit too calm as his eyes were rather vacant and glazy looking. I asked him if he was still going to tell his mother and he shook his head vigerously. I removed the shoe and let him up. He spat out the sock and toddered off somewhere.

Anyway, its not nesissary or wise to take the game as far as I did, but if you come across it I wouldnt turn it down, you never know, you could get lucky.

Hiya Zarakynel,

Sounds like you had a good time at playing that game, seems like he was a lucky guy to me!